bobbypinned

pj and i debated about unfortunate homeless people the entire walk home from savannah's house which is like what? five blocks? we probably could have cut out at least a block by walking through that park but we didn't becuase pj is afraid of us getting mugged. actually i think he's most afraid of having to fight for my honor and i think that is what a man should be. i talked a lot tonight with drew about him giving a fuck about savannah and he shouldn't have been that drunk and there are times when i shouldn't have been that drunk but other people dealt with it so i dealt with it tonight. one night last week when we were falling alseep, pj said, "you even feel beautiful" and that kept me up, thinking, being grateful for this grateful man so close to me. and this afternoon, deliriously tired, again he said, "your touch is so pleasant" and i touched him to sleep and i touched him while he slept and ring ring ringing woke him up, this man is so popular he can't go more than forty-five minutes without his pockets ring ring ringing i swear i'm going to unplug him one of these days. and i hope our talk to drew about the trials and tribulations of long distance love really fucking made a difference but he was so drunk, so drunk. i fucking miss marianne and this summer wasn't the same without her. this summer wasn't as good. i left a large amount of loose threads in edmonton, no one really knows where i've gone, they're all left half-wondering if they should give a shit. they err on the side of safety and forget about their favorite artificial redhead and i'm left to start anew in another frigid prairie town.

moving hungover is the best and the worst at the same time.
i am so full of longing.

i am a lone wolf
a beauty and a beast
both hunter and hunted
soft tongue and sharp teeth
i'm toned from my travels
but raw from this road
as i drink from storm puddles
and the stories i'm told

help me figure this out
help me figure you in
you're a shadow to me
that i echo when i sing
help me figure this out
help me figure you into this simple little melody

i have seen angels
they were sleeping in gutters
they were standing in bank lines
they were jumping from towers
they were calling like seagulls
but nobody heard
such a beautiful message
from such a common bird

we want freedom from ourselves
but we can't give it to each other
we want peace between nations
yet we battle with our lovers
we're blinded by billboards and trying to get ahead
choking on ambition and the words left unsaid
all the words left unsaid
weave a simple little melody

(wendy mcneill)









drove alone for 5 hours, ipod on shuffle, little surprises. happiness.

LEAVING FOR THE GORGE. TONIGHT. BYE!

flying saucer cupcakes.

amy. 21. in love. a little bit lost. university drop out. inspired, unconventional.
i like my boyfriend's beard, asymmetrical things, beer, negative space, imagining a perfect life, juxtaposition, fruit, the best music, the rocky mountains, and the prairies.
occasionally public, but the juicy stuff is for friends only.
i'll probably add you back, but a comment here never hurt!

i started this journal almost three years ago, stopped journalling altogether for about a year in between, started back up again a few months ago, and now it is about four pages away from being done.
( a lot of images. like 50. )

1. ain't no easy way - black rebel motorcycle club
2. mr. lucky - bobby conn
3. i've been asleep for a long, long time - hey rosetta!
4. dirty world - traveling wilburys
5. hey - the pixies
6. the believer - neil young
7. breaking it up - lykke li
8. lancaster bomber - kevin hearn and thin buckle
9. people are strange - the doors
10. crap kraft dinner - hot chip
11. shaker - yo la tengo
12. stars were exploding - good luck
13. mr. tough - yo la tengo
14. i found a reason - cat power
15. the moon - cat power
16. walking on a dream - empire of the sun
17. the patient ferris wheel - the gaslight anthem
18. oh, my darling - basia bulat
19. love sick - bob dylan

( he loves your electric dumplings, he loves your red bell pepper )

i am once again spinning out of control on every plane of my life

How should I know? The enormous wheels of will
Drove me cold-eyed on tired and sleepless feet.
Night was void arms and you a phantom still,
And day your far light swaying down the street.
As never fool for love, I starved for you;
My throat was dry and my eyes hot to see.
Your mouth so lying was most heaven in view,
And your remembered smell most agony.

Love wakens love! I felt your hot wrist shiver
And suddenly the mad victory I planned
Flashed real, in your burning bending head...
My conqueror’s blood was cool as a deep river
In shadow; and my heart beneath your hand
Quieter than a dead man on a bed.

fucking hell, i wish i was in love.